Thursday, August 9, 2007

Yale: Corporate America Digs Dicks

Well, this Yale study proves it: a man acting like a dick is a good thing and a woman doing the same is very, very bad. Quoth Reuters: "A man who gets angry at work may well be admired for it but a woman who shows anger in the workplace is liable to be seen as 'out of control' and incompetent, according to a new study presented Friday."

Transiting something we've known for a long time, chicks dig assholes, so, apparently, does Corporate America. But this shouldn't be a surprise after countless dickheads have risen through the sheer force of their bellicosity to prominent positions throughout history (corporate or otherwise, but with leadership of some kind being the common stripe) - Xerxes, Julius Caesar, Charlemagne, Henry VIII, JP Morgan, Richard Nixon, Donald Trump, Ken Lay, Steve Jobs, George W. Bush, off the top of my head.

Millions of anecdotal examples aside, the point of calling something 'a study' - which is to say 'scientific' - must mean the numbers back up the common knowledge. So is it that anger inspires awe and confidence or is that fear incited by displays of anger inspire obedience and complicity in the angry ones' rise to success?

Another question is, if this works solely for men is there a failing on the part of the feminist movement to not capitalize on the virtues of womanhood that would lead to corporate success? Abandoning anger for displays of love and affection perhaps (without of course, resorting to the demonstrably ineffective strategy of outright sluttiness)?

Either way, this is news I can use. I see know that I've been taking things way too easy at work in being the chill guy and letting shit slide like water off a duck's back. From now on, I'm not taking any prisoners. No goof, faux pas or mea culpa will go unpunished. Every stupid question will be met with a scathing verbal assault. Each personal foible, ruthlessly exploited until every last scintilla of embarrassing fodder has been pulled out and used to produce chagrin and anguish amongst my co-workers who will then respect and admire my ass straight to the top. Motherfuckers best watch out, cause the campaign of anger launches today and Flying Off the Handle will be my Indian name.

No comments:

Post a Comment